I still remember my first gynecological consultation. I went in, sat down and the first thing the doctor asked me was if she was a virgin. I answered yes. He replied: "I hope so because when I explore you, I'll check if it's true." I felt highly intimidated. I went to do my first review. Although I had not yet had sexual intercourse and the risk of contracting cancer of the cervix or some other disease was very low, my family doctor recommended that I go to the gynecologist for a Pap smear. After asking me a few questions about my medical history, he made me take off my clothes in front of him and told me it wouldn't take long and it wouldn't hurt. "You won't even find out", those were his words. When he pinched my uterus I saw the stars, at first I tried to bear the pain, but I couldn't anymore. When I told her to please stop, she replied: “You can't be feeling anything, you're a crybaby, stay still." In those moments I came to doubt myself and my pain. I started to cry as he continued calmly and unfazed. I will never be able to forget the feeling with which I left that consultation: I felt cheated, violent and very powerless. Being with my legs open, naked, in front of an unknown man whom I had to pay attention to without questioning him (because in theory he was a professional) and without being able to complain or do anything... Since then I became afraid of going to the gynecologist.

Things you should NEVER put up with from a gynecologist

This anonymous testimony is one of the many that occur (more frequently than we think) in the gynecologist's office. Gynecological abuse is the order of the day and ranges from infantilization or paternalism when treating the patient, disinterest in her opinion, ignoring her symptoms, offensive comments about her body, lack of respect, medical negligence, use of Inappropriate material and instruments to carry out revisions, painful manipulations or without consent... Not to mention sexual abuse, insinuations, mistreatment and inconsideration. Unfortunately, this problem exists and is reported in every doctor's office in the world. Sometimes the abuses are more subtle than others and it is more difficult to identify them, but that does not mean that they are not just as violent. For this reason, today from this article, we want to warn you of those things that you should never allow your gynecologist.
  • You should never allow the doctor to leave you lying on the table with nothing covering your private parts. The office should ALWAYS have a covered or reserved space for changing and a sheet, blanket or gown to cover yourself.
  • Never let the doctor treat you too confidently, as if you were his friend. He is a specialist and you are the patient that he has to attend to with respect and professionalism, so you should never let him put himself in a situation of 'equality'.
  • The gynecologist must explain to you at each moment of the examination the procedure that will be followed.
  • Never let the doctor make comments that make you feel uncomfortable or violent with your body.
  • Don't allow him to make value judgments or judge you for your decisions. Above all, remember that your body and your life are only yours and no one else’s.
  • Do not let him submit you to tests or analyzes without your consent or approval.
  • A truly professional gynecologist should never violate your privacy by telling your parents or anyone else what you have discussed in consultation. He has an obligation to maintain professional secrecy.
  • Do not allow any type of insinuation or compliment. Much less undue approaches or touching.
  • If any test hurts you, the gynecologist should stop or do it more gently or tactfully. If not, he would be negligent.
  • You do not have to answer questions that are too uncomfortable.

How is the first consultation with the gynecologist and how to prepare

Nerves, fear and uncertainty are inevitable before the first consultation with the gynecologist. Before him you are going to expose your most intimate part and that causes a lot of concern, but the truth is that going to the gynecologist is something normal and natural as well as necessary in the life of a woman. So, if you have to go to the gynecological consultation for the first time, relax and follow the advice that we indicate below. Everything will be fine!

· At what age to go?

There really is no specific age to go to a gynecological consultation for the first time. Some women start going when they start having sex, while others go much earlier for various reasons: intense menstrual pain, irregular periods, vaginal infections...

· Make an appointment in advance 

Plan the appointment in advance and if it can be square it so that when you go you don't have your period. This makes it much easier for the health professional to perform a good examination.

· Intimate hygiene

It is not necessary that you wash your intimate area ten times before going to the gynecologist, but you should carry out your daily hygiene routine to facilitate the examination and the results.

· Don't worry about the hair

Do not feel ashamed for having hair in your pubic area, it is something totally normal that should NOT matter or bother your gynecologist. He just wants to know that your vaginal health is correct, he is not going to judge you for having more or less hair.

· Be honest

Upon entering the consultation, the doctor will ask you a series of questions (general questions about your state of health, about your menstruation and some about your sexual history). Answer honestly so that he can have all the information necessary for your treatment.

· The gynecological examination

The normal thing is that the gynecological examination consists of an exploration of the genitalia, both external and internal, and a cytology for the cellular evaluation of the cervix. Sometimes a scan of the mammary glands is also done.

· Hurts?

The normal thing is that this type of routine gynecological examinations does not hurt, but in the event that you notice discomfort, do not endure the pain. Tell your doctor and he will know how to act in that case.

. Keep calm

Above all relax, stay calm and eliminate tension. This is a process that all women in the world go through. Do not fear. It is for your good and the gynecologist will only do his job. In the event that you consider that he is committing abuse, do not shut up, denounce, and NEVER normalize violence.